Stuck in the Mud

I just had to share about my awesome experience this weekend in North Brentwood!  Although we aren’t officially at First Baptist yet, they have church school on Saturday mornings and we took the kids there.  I knew that Cubs 1 and 2 would do just fine, but Cub 3 did surprisingly well in her class also!  After church school, the women had a summit.  The speaker for the event was running late, but she was well worth the wait.  The theme for the this Women’s weekend was “Stuck in the Mud – Moving Towards Holy Ground”  Rev. Dr. Debyii Thomas, a professor at Howard University,  started by reading the story about Tamar.  Tamar was raped by her half brother, after her uncle helped him devise a plan to do it, then her real brother and father (who was a king) told her to keep quiet about it.  From this story in 2 Samuel, she gave us so much great information and insight on how to get out of our “mud” and on to “holy ground.”

Now, some of you know that the past few weeks have been an emotional  roller coaster for the Party of Six during this period of transition.  More recently, I have had a very hard time listening to and witnessing for myself some of the hurtful and mean actions of others at EBC.  Whether they were right or wrong really didn’t matter to me.  Whether PB did everything right or wrong really didn’t matter to me either.  It has been difficult for me because I know first-hand how hard PB has worked there.  I’ve witnessed the sleepless nights, and the early morning phone calls to go to a hospital.  I’ve witnessed him coming home DOG-TIRED and still putting in an hour of play with the cubs.  He counseled, prayed for, cried with, and celebrated with many individuals and families (some not even members of EBC).  The more I heard, the more resentment began to build up on the inside until I decided that I just did not want to have anything else to do with Ebenezer – didn’t plan to go there, didn’t plan to have the cubs return there, didn’t plan to go back to the choir, removed all Facebook friends – I was FINISHED…until Saturday.  I had planned to move forward without looking back, so being a part of this Women’s Summit on Saturday was my way of moving on.  However, God used Dr. Debyii and my experiences this past weekend to beat me over the head and make me deal with my feelings.

Dr. Debyii gave about 8 steps to getting out of our mud and one of those steps was about FORGIVENESS.  I did not want to hear about FORGIVENESS when I was right in the middle of holding the biggest grudge ever!  It didn’t help that Dr. Debyii would just not let it go!  She said that we block the blessings that God has for us when we hold on to anger towards others.  She used the analogy of an empty coffee cup that has left over coffee at the bottom.  We never put fresh coffee in the cup without first cleaning the cup.  It’s the same with forgiveness.  I could not truly move on without cleaning my cup to get ready for some fresh coffee.  So, I left Brentwood on Saturday evening arguing the whole drive home with God about whether or not to go to Ebenezer the next day (PB’s last Sunday).  Well, the cubs and I went to Brentwood on Sunday morning because Dr. Debyii was also the guest preacher for that service, and (because this is becoming much longer than I had planned) by the time I left that service, I knew I had to go to Ebenezer.  I got there just in time to hear PB’s last sermon and I was able to say good-bye to some really special people there that I truly love and will miss.

We need to be forgiving of others…I can say it, type it, understand it, but unfortunately I can’t say that I always PRACTICE it.  My prayer is that God will continue to help me practice forgiveness.   I was acting just like the “church folk” at Ebenezer by being angry and hurtful.  I didn’t focus on those disciples at Ebenezer who have been nothing but supportive and encouraging, yet truthful with our family.  I tried to move on without dealing with that coffee residue in my cup, but God used Dr. Debyii, as well as Terry and Laurese (love you ladies!) to help me clean my cup so that God could pour me a fresh cup of coffee!

Peace and Blessings!


12 thoughts on “Stuck in the Mud”

  1. “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

    This is a revelation that was placed in my heart. Humanity messed up and disobeyed God in the beginning. Basically saying that the devil’s lies and humanity’s own thinking is more important than God’s commands. We fell because we allowed our own understanding and desire to prevail over God’s word. And what happened, we fell into sin. We fell into abandoning God’s commands, blaming others for our own decisions and actions. But out of a love (agape) that we will never fully comprehend, God sent Jesus to become the redemption bridge for those willing to accept Him. How about that, we messed up and God didn’t hold a grudge, He just gave us His best!

    Any way, from the marriage of agape and redemption is born the Church. Jesus is the Head of the church. The pastor is the undersheppard, this is by the divine will of God. He/She is called into service to the Lord to guard, protect and to lead the local flock as God has directed through the revelation of His vision. Why the role of pastor? Because, God knew it was necessary for the good of the flock. When in the church there is a rise against the vision, i.e. direction, then they are not rising or rebelling against the pastor, but against God.

    So don’t be distressed when you see this happen or even think it strange. I have learned that three sets of people are in church; diciples, demons and driftwood. Not just EBC, all churches. Disciples we know who we are. We don’t always get it right but our heart is always seeking after the Lord and our desire and our actions demonstrate our committment to living as our Lord has admonished us to. Do disciples mess up, yes. Disciples are however are subject to chastisement and repentance. Then there are the demons. They are disciples of satan. Like their master, they are there to destroy. Enough said. Then there is driftwood. Driftwood in church is just like what you see aimlessly floating in water or washed up on the shore. It is broken and it is dead. Driftwood is dangerous because it becomes a hazard clogging up and choking the flow. It also causes for extra energy to be exerted cleaning stuff up. When we come to Christ and become a part of the local church, we have to deal with disciples, demons and driftwood.

    The key is to remeber as a pastor, he/she is called to pastor the disciples, not the demons or the driftwood. And the flock is not called to pastor the pastor. And it takes a lot of energy guarding, guiding and praying for the flock. Thank you Lord for pastors (shout out to my own) who are called to this position!! As a sheep, it is not my job to tell the pastor what to do, that’s God’s job. My job as a member of the flock is to follow the pastor as He follows Christ.

    When we see people acting contrary to the dictates of our Lord, pray!!! Disciples, when they are wrong are quick to repent, demons are happy to get stuff and keep stuff going and driftwood is just going with the flow. So to the young lady, who feels she has lost friends, pray and allow God to show you who these people really are (disciples, demons or driftwood). But regardless, forgive them. That is what the Lord desires for us.

    So I say to PB, MB, and the EBC family I love you all and am praying for you all. EBC I will always have a special place for you in my heart. Continue to seek God and walk according to His will. God has great things in store for you all. Because like Romans 8:28 says, it is working for your good. All of the hurt, meanness, distress, all of it is working for your good! (SN: If everybody loves you and the devil is not attacking you through devices or people, then you better check your self, because you can not truly follow Christ and not be on the devil’s hit list.)

    Peace and Blessings!!


  2. Hey Auntie!
    Loved this blog. I’ve had the experiences where I’ve acted first before thinking things over, to in the end, wish I HAD thought about my actions. It’s so funny how we can grow up learning love, fellowship, forgiveness, and all that great stuff but as soon as we’re introduced with a problem we do the TOTAL opposite. I thank God for those situations. Personally, it teaches me about my knowledge, my strength, and my christianity. No…we’re not perfect, but who says we try to be? I think a person to look up to is the one who can go through trials, tribulations, and heartache and STILL come out on TOP. The person who despite their mistakes or what they’ve been through has learned something from it. Now the person who goes through all these obstacles and hardships and STILL comes out of it the SAME person…is the one I can’t relate to. So with that said, I thank you for always being REAL. Not playing the “first lady” role and acting o so holy, but for being the auntie who knows who she is, where she’s come from, yet also being a changed person (if that makes sense lol). All in all, I LOVE YOU!

  3. I applaud this “Blog” with the upmost respect. I understand totally what you and your family were going through. I always say that “Life” is a “Journey” and God guides us along the way. God has someting in stored for all of us. Some may not want to see it nor hear it. Pastor Kay speaks the word of “God”, some folks get it, some folks don’t. I feel sorry for those who don’t understand. When people start to act outside of the character of Christ, then that’s when we must remove ourselves from circumstances that is not pleasing to God. Being stuck in the mud is no fun. Been there, and I refuse to let anyone, anything come between my relationship with God! My sistah go on and keep praising the father, for the things that he has done for you and your family. Everything that has happen is buried in the past. Take your walk in the “New” beginnings fresh and free. Love ya!

  4. The one thing we must always remember–its not the anger that’s the sin–its what we allow the anger to cause us to do that is the sin. I’m glad you are working pass your anger–it will benefit you greatly in the future and God will truly get the glory. Remember the scripture–..”all things work together for good to those who love the Lord, to them who are called according to His purpose.” So we know Pastor, you and the kids are in God’s care and will be fine. I am working on myself as well. 🙂 See you soon!!

  5. Thank you for sharing this lesson with me. I believe everyone should reflect on their actions daily. Walking around furious and getting upset with people because of their lack of respect only allows them to control your day. It took three years for me to finally forgive my ex-husband for his actions. But you know what…when I gave up that anger and started praying good things for him, it made me feel at peace. I am so glad that I don’t have to walk around any longer with my head down or with tension headaches daily. Because of forgiveness, I enjoy the waking of a new day…or should I say the aroma of a fresh cup of coffee! Be blessed and I love you!

  6. So glad God placed it in your heart to go to Brentwood on Saturday and Sunday!! As I’ve told you before I’ve always had you and Pastor’s back. I’ve always supported everything he has proposed for the betterment of EBC.
    My response has always been, that’s my pastor and if you can’t respect him, his position, and can’t speak in a positive manner, you don’t need to talk to me. I might not have always agreed with some thjngs but God sent him to lead and feed, but those sheep at EBC just weren’t ready to follow their leader. In the last few weeks I have lost all respect for some people I’ve known and considered a “church friend” for many years. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll ever have a “friend” relationship with them ever again. It’s a loss but I’m glad revealed to me who they truly were.
    I am so glad that First Baptist is giving you what EBC didn’t. You nor pastor deserved the ill will that disciples at EBC have been dishing out. I feel that nothing but happiness and the Vision fulfilled awaits the Kay Family at First Baptist. Their loss is First Baptist’s gain.
    Love the Kays much!!!!!

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