This was the plan: four children, four years apart. Cub 1 was born in 2000. Cub 2 was born in 2004. Cub 3 was born in 2008. Cub 4 was born in 2010. Huh?…..SURPRISE!!!
I’m a planner, and Cub 4’s early arrival rocked my entire world. I cried for about two weeks and couldn’t wrap my head around how we would manage two babies who were going to be 18 months apart! We discovered that we needed a bigger table in the kitchen, we needed to figure out new sleeping arrangements for the cubs, we even had to buy a bigger vehicle to accommodate two car seats and a booster.
I didn’t really get it yet, that God was in control and not me. So, to ensure that we didn’t have anymore surprises, I convinced Poppa Bear (PB) to go “take care of himself” because if we did decide later on that we wanted more children, his procedure was reversible. Little did we know that this procedure would lead to the discovery of prostate cancer. Prostate cancer screenings are recommended beginning at the age of 40. PB was 35. Look at God!
God knew I would still try to be in control.
God knew what was ahead for PB.
God knew that having PB go through that procedure would reveal a bigger issue.
God knew that PB wouldn’t make it to his 40th birthday if the prostate cancer hadn’t been discovered earlier.
God gave Cub 4’s life a purpose before she was even introduced to us.
God knew that I needed a lesson on trusting in Him, and he orchestrated it in such a way that I felt convicted, forgiven, and extremely thankful.
Convicted for thinking that I was in control of my life. Forgiven for how much I complained and the shame I felt for thinking that I needed to “help God out” like He didn’t know what He was doing. Thankful that He has blessed PB to live six cancer-free years, and thankful for Cub 4.
She is always smiling and friendly to everyone. She is creative and active.